If I were to publish all the relationship challenges I read on the internet everyday, I would have a relationship-drama-encyclopedia of sorts.
Some get me laughing at how marvelously stupid people can get, some get me sneering in disbelief while some are straight out of a horror movie that they get me rethinking all my life aims about companionship.
However, amidst all this relationship drama, one thing has continuouly been brought forth- some of our partners are not really our BFF’s as much as we try to make ourselves and other people believe they are.
Personally, I hold my friends in high regard. Maybe this stems from my limited number of friends (credits to the natural resting bitch face and my deficient social skills), but I hold whoever I call(think is) my friend in high regard. I love them. I cherish them. I stand up for them. I share with them. Conversations are honest no matter the complexity of the situation at hand. Opinions and thoughts are exchanged with honesty. The title ‘friend’ to me is earned, not a given. I also believe my partner should be my friend. And for the title ‘best friend’ the qualifications are extreme.😄😄
My partner should be my friend, someone I can open up to, be vulnerable with, and not feel afraid or exposed. If we are not shy getting undressed together, then why should our emotional nakedness call for secrecy and discomfort? Why should we go looking for third parties to have heart-to-heart conversations with, or even to talk about certain behaviors that either has that make the other party uncomfortable and loathsome. Why should we be more open to discussing and getting solutions for private problems from the entirety of the public? Why should external mediation be number one on the problem-solving clause of our companionship?
I do not understand why people are not open and free with their partners yet they flood our timelines with BFF hashtags, only to see them in private messages looking for public solutions to personal challenges. Getting opinions about how to handle challenges is okay, but should it be number one especially when the problem involves the ‘love of your life?’ Why are you selling us a lie?
We need to start questioning the quality of our companionships and people we open our hearts to. If your partner is not your close pal, then what exactly do we call that arrangement you are currently emotionally, financially and physically running?
Could it be just an entanglement?